=I Found my Mother at the Beach=

I find myself in the same place I was when I lost you.

At the beach, gazing at the sky in all of its hues, feeling the sand slip between my fingers. Each visit never twice the same.

And on that fateful night, I experienced the watery dreamscape in a way I could only describe as your embrace, your love wrapping around me one “final" time. The stars danced for me in ways only my imagination could previously grant. I wailed, the ocean held me, the stars twinkled with my tears. I knew it was you. 

Now these days, in the moments when I’m breaking into a million pieces, when I’m drying up like Spongebob and Patrick in Shell City, in the moments when I really need my Mom..

I can’t run fast enough to the ocean, to the sea, to the lake, to the beach.

I admire the streaks of ebony and ivory immeshed in the salty, saturated sand. 

I immerse myself within the nurturing sways of the deep waves just beyond the pier. And just like those mystifying waves, you’re just within reach, but an entire life away. 

I see you everywhere, however, no such feeling compares to the feeling of meeting my mom at the beach.

written by dira starr

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